Relationship rules that make polyamory work

relationship goals

Although committing to a relationship with more than one partner seems amusing, things can take a different direction if you don’t set the rules. It is all about setting boundaries for what you feel comfortable with and respecting others’ limitations. If you are into polyamory dating, don’t miss the crucial rules to make your relationship work.

Let them know that you are poly

If you date another person outside of your commitment, make sure to acknowledge them with the fact that you are into polyamory dating. This will avoid a confrontation of interests if they are seeking an exclusive commitment.

Consider your motivation

Before you decide to step into poly dating, ask yourself: Why am I doing this? If you would like to try something new or spice up your sex life, that’s fine. But if the answer is to satisfy your partner’s demands or not lose them, this is a red flag. You should step into a poly relationship only if this is your desire. Letting other people into your relationship requires consent from both sides. Stepping into this to please your partner will feel uncomfortable for you and will result in a breakup.

Have respect

Any type of relationship requires balance. When you are into polyamory dating, you need to put some extra effort into making things work. Make sure to respect their parents and don’t bring any negativity between you. Maintain a healthy distance and focus on the relation with your partner. Don’t neglect any of your secondary partners. Committing to non-monogamy means that you should be ready to check up on everyone to make sure they feel happy and satisfied.

Be realistic about it

Just because you fulfilled your fantasy of polyamory dating, it doesn’t mean that your relationship will last. Poly relationships are all about balancing different personalities and desires, so you might find it tricky at some point. The problem of clashing personalities exists even in monogamous relationships, so accept this fact and move on.

Be prepared to focus on all relationships

If your secondary relationships aren’t casual, you need to plan your time well. No one should feel neglected, and we know that life can get pretty busy at some points.

Enjoy your time

Don’t forget to schedule your me-time, even if you have multiple partners. Learn how to be happy on your own, and let the poly relationship fortify your life with new experiences. When your partner is dating another person, focus on other things that make you satisfied. Indulge in some me-time, go out with your friends, have a personal hobby, or do other things that make you happy.

Polyamory doesn’t fix relationships

If you are stuck in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, don’t think of polyamory as a quick fix. Committing to a secondary relationship or something casual won’t help you fix the existing problems. If you aren’t happy with your current relationship, don’t use other people to fill the gap. Polyamory should bring additional value to your existing relationship and not outsource the things that you miss.

Open communication

Honesty and open communication are the critical factors to a healthy poly relationship. Play with open cards and communicate clearly about your expectations and needs. Even if you commit to polyamory, you can still cheat your partner or partners. This happens in cases when people have intimate contact with others without partner’s consent or acknowledgment. Being loyal to your partner means that you will be honest about your partners and encounters and not keep any secrets.

Set your boundaries

Poly relationships aren’t a one size fits all solution. Although the initial concept is to explore other partners, this non-traditional dating comes in different shapes. Maybe you want to exclude sleepovers from the game. Or, you want to keep your bedroom to yourselves and not let other partners there. It is all about communicating about the things that you don’t feel comfortable with and set particular limits when it comes to dating other people.

Get tested monthly

Having multiple sex partners increases STI risk, so poly people should get tested at least once a month. Your health is essential, but also, you don’t want to bring others into trouble. Get tested together with your partner to feel safer and be responsible.

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