Polyamory jealousy is a real problem faced by many people in this kind of relationship. Since Threesome Dating Sites are so popular nowadays, the number of polyamorous relationships has increased, and sometimes jealousy soon follows.
In polyamory, one often tends to overlook jealousy and replace it with feelings of neutrality or even joy. You will be happy when your partner is, even if that includes another person. Jealousy is a powerful and compelling sentiment, and even if it isn’t associated with relationships with multiple people, it does occur and might lead to destructive behaviors.
Firstly, you should consider your own boundaries. Regardless of the amount of effort, you would put into a polyamory relationship, if jealousy gives you too much pain and you have a hard time sharing your beloved with a third person, maybe this kind of relationship is not your cup of tea.
Many reasons may trigger jealousy, and once you find out which one of them is triggering it in your case, you will be one step closer to solving it. Polyamory might make you feel like your partner spends more time with someone like your partner is getting cold or neglecting you.
The fear of losing them, the insecurities of us not feeling good enough or worthy, or the lack of safety are some of the many reasons why polyamorous jealousy occurs.
When it comes to insecurities, there is little that the other polyamory person can do for us. Validation has to come from within. Try to discover yourself, get an interesting hobby, try a new look or a different lifestyle. Feeling good and trusting yourself might be the fastest way to drive polyamorous jealousy away from your polyamory relationship.
Keeping a journal can also be a good way to discover yourself, try self-reflection and go deep to the root of the problem. As a motivational quote says, “when there is no enemy within, the enemy from afar cannot harm us”, try to solve your polyamory jealousy problems before rushing to place the blame on external factors.
Communication is the key in all types of relationships, but in a polyamorous relationship, the importance of communication is unmeasurable. Discuss with your polyamory partner how you feel about your emotional state, and try to discover a solution for your polyamory jealousy together without placing the blame or demanding things to change immediately.
Searching through your polyamory partner’s things, controlling emails, phone or imposing restrictions will only make your partner close up, enlarging the gap between you too.
These are very invasive and abusive behaviors that will only increase the levels of distrust in your polyamory relationship and, if they are too extreme, may even lead your partner to lie to avoid this.
Put yourself a bit in your partner’s shoes and try to imagine things from his/her point of view. You may discover that things are not easy on the other side, and maybe your partner is feeling exactly like you are. There is no law that prevents polyamory jealousy from going all ways.
Beyond communicating with your polyamory partner, it is also a great idea to talk to a close friend. Even if other people should not have a say in your relationship, looking at the whole situation from another perspective can help you put your thoughts in order.
You may have bad memories from a past polyamory relationship where you were betrayed, lied to, or cheated on; however that was someone else, and your partner is a completely different person. Bringing the past into your present and entering a new polyamory relationship with emotional baggage will doom the polyamory relationship from the start.
Once you slay your dragons, if the problem of polyamory jealousy still persists, you can look at external factors. If you’re dealing with a partner who is rude or abusive and the problem is not within, there is, unfortunately, no solution, especially if your partner has no interest in changing. The only way to fix the problem is to get out of this polyamory relationship.
Polyamory jealousy can be overcome with patience and a little bit of work in most cases. Also, when all things fail, seeking couple therapy is really no shame as you can both get the emotional and physical support you need while also learning how to open up to each other.
Polyamory and jealousy should not exist together. If you or your partner sense any polyamory jealousy starting to build up, stop and reassess. Figure out where the polyamory jealousy is coming from, what brought the polyamory jealousy up, and see how you can fix it right away.